Channeling Thoreau: the challenge of living "deliberately" as a college student

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“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” -Henry David Thoreau, Walden

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When I came to college for the first time,

the entire world was masked and isolated. By fall of 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic had succeeded in robbing my classmates and me from any chance at a "normal" first semester of college. The situation, I believe, was the beginning of my struggle to purposeful experiences. A year later, I am challenged still, to even define and recognize what my college experience should look like.

My college is this little, private Christian school located on a certain hilltop in the East Tennessee area. Opportunity to make a difference in the school community is great, because of the school's Christian mission as well as the intimate class size. Yet, despite the push for student connection on the college's part, it is so easy for me to hide-away in my dorm and miss this connection. It is so easy for me to further this tradition of isolation.

And here is the issue that needs addressing: college students, for whatever reason, are threatened by this temptation to give weight to these traditions of uncertainty. Because of the climate of the post-covid world, especially, I would contend that students today are likely to form habits that distract them from living life to its fullest. For instance, how many students forgo opportunities to connect with others because of this new mentality of isolation? I know that I myself struggle heavily in college with this mentality. So many times, I consent to missing-out on opportunities. And I always come to regret it.

For this semester, I am engaged in an American Literature Course. One of the readings of great significance to the history of American literature is, of course, Henry David Thoreau's Walden. I remember hating this text, back in high school, but returning to it in college was a different experience entirely.

In Walden, we see abstract philosophy and practical advice on Thoreau's part. Some of the transcendental ideas certainly seem "hippie" to me, but there is a kind of message intermixed in the work-- one that I was not ready to pick up and put into practice, until now.

One of the most quote-worthy lines from the entire writing is in the idea of living "deliberately". Well... what does that mean? I interpret living deliberately as a bit more than just doing the things that make me happy. Moreover, I believe that living deliberately is centered around realizing that I have choices in every setting, and I need to make active decisions instead of falling victim to my usual habits.

Thoreau lays out the danger of ignoring this exploration: regret. And, that is something that stood out to me, because in my college setting, when I “die” as a college student and graduate in a few years, what if I come to conclude that I never lived as a student?

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I have recognized this issue in myself for some time now. But the question that keeps appearing in my mind is: "how do I fix this"? As an introvert, I am already inclined to skip events for the comfort of my dorm room. But after letting habit win-out, I often feel ashamed. So, how can I even begin to live deliberately in my college context, when it seems that I am already so behind at it?

This past few weeks, I have practiced several steps to counter this issue:

1. Focus on discussion

I have strived to do one thing better: talking to others. I have the tendency to enter a classroom, sit down, and let silence completely dominate my lips. How many opportunities are missed on a student-to-professor basis, when I choose not to speak up in a discussion? In addition to increased participation, I have also made effort to speak to those around me more. Students that I recognize from classes are my main target, and I have already begun to find value in the discussions I have fostered through speaking-up in those times before, after, and between classes. Simply packing up my things at the end of a lecture a fraction slower gives others an opportunity to approach me for a conversation.

2. Focus on events

Simply showing up to events is something that I have improved on, since last year. There are still miles of improvement to be had in this department, but knowing that I am setting myself up for success by putting myself in a place to learn, grow, and connect (versus in my room) is leaps and bounds more fulfilling to my purpose of living deliberately.

3. Focus on self-reflection

At the end of the day, practicing mindfulness is so important. This year, I have made effort to go on walks after class, especially when I am alone. I use this time to think. I use this time to observe. I use this time to deliberately check-in with myself. This time has given me a chance to process what has been done in a day. I can meditate on the things learned. And, I have enjoyed that time immensely. The sunlight I get from this is also medicine to the soul, in and of itself. But, if I feel unwilling to walk, I go to a spot in the woods to read or simply think. I even carry my harmonicas with me, and oftentimes, I will play a song. Or, if it rains, I spend time reflecting in the library. I will work on some assignments, chug my Pepsi-zero, and use that time to live deliberately. Whatever I choose to do, I make sure to practice on self-reflection.

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These methods may seem small, because they are. I believe the simplicity of these steps make them feasible for me to implement. The effect of these changes are often much larger than one might think: I can say that my personal experience this semester has been much more fluid, happy, immersive, and mind-shaping than semesters before. I chock that up to an increased effort to live deliberately this semester.

My goal is ultimately to look back on this time and find that I have continually made strides in living deliberately. As a college student, it is certainly a challenge to do so. However, the extra grit required for this type of college experience, to me is fully worth the effort.

- Maeve